Hey guys!
Wow, its the 2week benchmark...one of those where you cant work out whether time has gone mega fast or slow, a pretty intense 14days but so amazing in ways that I couldnt ever explain fully.  When i decided to come to india a large part of it was escapism from being unsatisfied with my life in bristol...more then anything I think to escape my own head(!).  I wanted to go to India to find the cure- Haha...the age ol' quest to find yourself in India.  What is astonishing and highly unexpected is that I actually seem to be doing just that.  Jen- Im having a good old giggle to myself about that mural in the restaurant in Padangbai Indonesia ''you will not find the meaning of life whilst travelling'', hahaha! Legends.  This journeys plans are already changed massively, and as a control freak and a mega Capricorn that is progress in itself =P
Goa is beautiful, and Goa is full of points of view.  Its India whether it believes it or not and its full of extremes- extreme poverty, disabled people/elderly/kids begging...their only interaction with westerners being askign for money with muddy sad faces and miming hungry signals.  A universal language that is the same in any country.  And more hippies then you could swing a dreadlock at! Guys, Im talking Primal Screaming workshops, finding your inner shamon, 'Love yoga'....questionable.  Its hilarious.  Buying kilos and kilos of hippie gear (and i count myself in this description!) and eating samosas and pizza in this strange east-meet-west unharmonious clash of cultures.  Its vibrant ill give you that, and it gets people really talking about the meaning of everything...whether we have more to gain from indian culture then we would happily let on, and i suppose vice versa.  Im learning a happy balance between trying my hardest to suppress my western guilt and finding ways of giving I feel more comfortable with, like giving half of my food away or sharing my water...or just being silly and going rockpooling with a gaggle of little naked indian kiddies, with their kohl-ed eyes and hindi waist belts swinging away bringing them good luck as they play.  Ive started funny little relationships, like giving half my apple every day to the same little begger girl that sits right next to the fruit stand...she must be around the same age as freya and has never been to school just.like.her....that always makes me smile, what a funny ol'world i have grown up in(!) that we have the opportunity to go to school but choose not to.  As much as I am pro-homeschooling it does make me cringe a little to think of how many more possibilities these little'uns would have with a better education.  I met a girl called Premadona(what a name!) on the beach selling sarongs to tourists- she is 17 and being forced unhappily into a marriage with a 67yr old man because she is from a low caste and has never been to school...her parents cant afford a good dowry so its her only obvious option.
Ive moved rooms now 3 times in Arambol, now away from the beach a little and into a cheaper room (200rp a day).  My intentions of travelling to Hampi and then volunteering at Sadhana have been superseded by my taking part in more courses and being more involved in the community at the Balanced View centre here.  I was really really up for going to these places and still fully intend to in the future, but the sacrifice doesnt even begin to compare to how much stability and enjoyment I am gaining here.  Im finding my inner calm and couldnt recommend it more (www.balancedview.com - a bit of shameless promotion but thats the last of it i swear).  So yeh, my days revolve around yummy meals, trainings, open meetings, sunset hula jams in the drumming circles on the beach...and lots of lovely people in between.  The last 3 days Ive been doing a 3 day intensive training at the centre which is pretty much 7hours a day as well as coming early to open meetings to help out within the community. Im gaining so much from the whole process and loving being part of the community and the fact that there are so many Bristolians here (random!) makes me so much more grounded to my home city and really looking forward to my return and new beginnings- so many lifelong friends being made, with such amazing talents and skills and laughs!  Makes me miss you all and appreciate you all even more!  What a motley crew you all are =)  Love you all so much...
So bex is finding her inner optimist and her inner contentment finally.  Its been a long time coming and happening so simply in a situation I never dreamed I would be part of.  Isnt life a funny ol'thing?!
Lots of plans a brewing to visit new found friends around europe in the near future, and a real pull to start dreaming up new ways to make my money- I wonder if selling flapjack could pay the rent? (joking, joking....kinda).  Im also really considering getting Offsted registered so as to be able to childmind properly (means that the family can get the money available to them for childcare from the gov, which in turn means im more likely to get a yoghurt-weaver sorta family!), pretty expensive process but should be pretty fulfilling in the long run.  Also really looking forward to my massage course starting in March, and hopefully all the doors that will open.
So yeh~ So much excitement and so much enthusiasm at the possibilities we all have...dont get me wrong-im still feeling lonely..overwhelmed....tired, but learning slowly that I am fine with all that.  Feeling strong!
Lots and lots of love to you all,
Bexi xxx

Hey Peeps =)
Well I managed 10days in India without belly getting the better of me, i count my blessings.  Im living on a cocktail of random herbal remedies that random travellers keep on giving me- from coconut husk which turns to jelly in your stomach and flushes out impruties (called Satisubgol in Goan), to natural antiparasite capsules from Amsterdam, and herbal tea from Israel... as well as the usual troweling through the numerous homeopathic remedies i have with me.  Im afraid to say that so far, Ibuprofen wins hands down.  I feel my hippie mumma cringing ;-)
So Ive been taking it nice and easy...my body seems not to want me to be in the sun so ive been spending lots of time helping out and going to meetings at the Balanced View centre ive been doing workshops in.  I spent last night at the Teepee village that my new friend Leah is staying at...Its a beautiful place, and if i end up spending next season in goa id love to live there.  Its about 20mins walk from town along the beach and is a bit of a closed community run by an excentric old hippie lady who's smoked a little bit too much Charis in her day and popped a few too many pills =P Lovely lady though and great fun to spent time there.  She has 2 MASSIVE pigs that just wander around the teepees, about 4dogs and a new born puppy who i have been looking after while leah is doing her workshop- SOOOO cute! Jenni, you would have been in puppy heaven.  Its one month old, eats a diet of puppy biscuits, rice and dahl, and falls asleep across your belly getting his nose as close to your armpit as he can manage.  We've been thinking of lots of different names, none of which he seems too chuffed about =)
So i start my next workshop tomorrow, a 4 day workshop at the Balanced View Centre, which finishes on Saturday, and then Im heading off into the sunset....for a joyous 18hr 'Sleeper' bus (irony in words!) to Chennai and then a local 7hr train to Pondicherry, to get to Sadhana Forest just outside of the city.  Looking forward to truly getting stuck into India....Goa is getting a bit too easy for my liking now, haha. And DEFINITELY too expensive.  Im spending almost double what i intended so looking forward to volunteering and easing off the ol'bank account a bit! Ive bought nearlly all of my pressi's and going to post them back before I leave Arambol.  Lots of pretties for my pretties =)
So yeh, Ive collected a couple of nice blokies who are gonna travel with me to Sadhana...a swedish bloke called Hampus and also an english guy called Steve who may come too.  Will be nice to have some company and man-protection, though they are both not the most manly of blokes, hehe.
Lots of love and hugs,
Will try to sort out an Indian simmcard soon so I can call you guys cheaply.
Much love and thinking of you all.  Off to eat some dry toast....fun fun fun!
Xxx

Hey guys! =)
Despite plans to head on to Hampi tomorrow im still in Arambol in Goa, ive been distracted by a really nice project called 'Balanced View' which are doing workshops over the next few months here, so am going to hang around until the 30th and then quickly blast my way through to Pondicherry to start my volunteering with Sadhana Forest... Beach life is nice, been getting myself slightly less white slowly slowly and relaxing.  Keep on meeting more and more really sound people to spend a few hours with her and there....getting involved more in Balanced View is nice too as there is a really tight community there and going to open meetings every morning brings a little structure to my day! I think im also going to do some AcroYoga while im here for another week, and maybe some yoga.  There is sooooo much to choose from-seriously Goa is a hippie mecca.  Pocketbelts and leather skirts galore....im struggling not to spend all my money and failing DISMALLY.  The only thing that is saving me is that i know i will have to lug it all around India for another 3months, hehe!
Ive managed to get over a horrible bout of cold i had for a couple of days and feeling SO much better now, spent all of yesterday in bed, henna-ing every exposed piece of skin to ward of boredom and drinking lots of ginger tea.  It seems to have done the trick =) Ive just been to dinner with a really sound girl from Balanced View called Leah from UK who will be moving to Brizzzzle when she gets back, shes a born and bred goan hippie and has got the accent and head wiggle down-to-a-friggin-artform.  Its all the entertainment you need, forget Eastenders.....
So yeh, all is hunkydory, a lot happier in my own company....spend most of my day on my own but usually ending up to chatting to enough people to keep me happily (in)sane.  Managed to get the ol'eating-on-your-own-in-a-restaurant-thing down, and can now multitask and eat and breath all at the same time, a very useful skill to have.
Been taking lots of photos, im afraid im hardly in any of them as its just me and im not touristy enough to take japanese style photos of myself next to a street urchin with a peace sign and a cheesy grin, that'll be tomorrows job ;-) My memory card reader seems to have given up the ghost so uploading may be tricky but ill try my best before i leave reasonable internet land to upload some pretty pics for you all soon.

LOVE YOU ALL! XXXX <3

'Ello Peeps =) sorry its taken me a few days to blog...hopefully i remembered to text most of you i arrived safely on friday? I wanted to wait a little while until i acclimatised to write a coherent blog =P
Despite my repeatedly negative FaceCrack profiles, im actually doing really well- The first 2 days were really stressful and emotional and at points if im honest I really wasnt sure that I would last staying out here, but since waking up yesterday morning(3rd day) im feeling a lot more grounded in myself and my surroundings...happy being in my own company, and even starting to enjoy the hustle and bustle of india.
Ive settled in Arambol, Goa for a little while, its a nice easy step before heading off, and really awesome for getting un-lonely-planet-like personal accounts of awesome places.  Ive been staying in town in a pretty hectic guesthouse really close to the beach for 200rp (approx 2.75p) a night, but now ive moved to a beach hut right on the sand.  Its beautiful and im looking forward to waking up to the sound of the waves instead of store holders grollying on the pavement, haha!

i had a really easy journey here, if not very VERY long and tiring.  I had the joy of possibly the most grumpy airport security lady ive ever encountered (saying something!) which wasnt the most enjoyable first experience of india....i then had to beg myself onto my connecting flight to goa as for some reason i wasnt on their system- I was actually hallucinating by this point i was so tired, seeing patterns crawling up blank walls =S!
I overheard a conversation from a guy in mumbai on the bus airport transfer that he was going to Arambol, so we decided to meet in Goa airport when both our flights landed and share the taxi cost together- it turns out that i later recognized his face and he was a DiveMaster on the Gili Islands when me and Jen were there in 2007/08.  Small SMALL world! He helped me find my first room which was a relief not to have to think about after a 40 hr journey. 

Yesterday(saturday) I met up with Gems who is a fellow hooper and I know briefly from a hooping orkshop in Bristol, her and her boyfriend are in Arambol until tomorrow morning when they head off to perform in Thailand/Burmese refugee camps, with Performers Without Borders.  Had a really lovely day with them, and met some of their mates (one of which i got on REALLY well with and hopefully will be able to keep in contact and maybe travel with at somepoint in the next few months-she is Argentinian and travelling on her own also...so would be lovely).  There is a really lovely big gathering of pretty much everyone in Arambol at sunset every evening where musicians come and play, while people play with hoops and poi and all manner of other crazy trickstery toys...and dance like flowerpower children(!)...its so beautiful to be part of it all with a lot of locals gathering also and really lovely communal vibes.  Ive also been getting up really early just naturally cos its so bright and walking along the beach.  There is a European bloke who creates amazing geometric sand drawings at sunrise and ive caught him in the act a few times.
 
Ive just come back from a really lovely open meeting at a centre which is part of the 'Balanced View' foundation.  This is where Deedee, a girlie a know briefly from bristol, is studying and the meeting was really interesting.  I think I may go again for a day course and see what more they have to say....there are quite a few people from Bristol doing the long workshop there that i recognise. (Mum-its pretty similar to the Byron Katie work that we do).  Nice, and wholesome and really lovely to feel part of a community and connected with people.

Now....im off to the beach to meet up with Gems before she goes and grab some dahl and rice for lunch, yumyum!

Lots of love to you all, thinking of you very very much and missing you all.  Wish you were here to see this beautiful place for yourselves...though i think its really good me doing this on my own (im starting to feel more able to communicate with strangers now and i know it will only get easier with time).

Bexi xxx

Sooooo! Im off tomorrow...!  Just came back from a delicious meal at Jen's house, anna and mikey and sean were there too so it was a really lovely send off.  The BEST veggi cottage pie EVER for my last dinner in the country before I go tomorrow lunchtime, yum yum yum <3
Im all packed and ready to go, bloomin' impressed with my packing this time- i think ive finally learnt my lesson not to bring too much stuff.  My bags only half full so plenty of space to collect things on the way =)
By the sounds of things everyone wants me to buy them lots of pressies so i think i am going to have to ship a few parcels back when im out there too.
Fun, Fun, Fun! Its funny, Im moving from really calm and a little bit excited, to sudden jolts of tummy nerves.  Im sure its normal...I just think that I havnt had the opportunity to even think about going over the last few days so now its only just kicking in.
Ive had an absolute nightmare couple of days: Daz,mine and ash's other housemate, decided to storm off and move out yesterday, after us having a row on monday evening.  The row was by no means massive, more of a letting loose of some many annoyances that I had tried to keep inside to keep the peace... It all came out though when she started having a go at me for not getting onto the Agency more about sorting out problems with the house.  Drama insude to say the least, she storms out, and the next thing I know I walk in on her moving out all her stuff the next day- no notice, no bills, no council tax, no finding of someone to take on her room, nothing.  She blames me for forcing her out, I blame her for being completely immature/inconsiderate.  Ghastly situation =( Ive had lots of abusive emails, sent some back....its been bloody stressful.  And Ive spent my last 2 days in the country frantically trying to advertise her old room...not something one wants to have to deal with when they are flying the next day.  NIGHTMARE!
But anyway, whats done is done....she isnt paying me back any money she owes me so there is nothing I can do over that.  Cant cry over spilt milk...Im sure she'll get what she deserves one way or another, not exactly good Karma is it really?!
So yeh....will try not to get to RYLED up about that situation again!
Nice things, nice things- INDIA! hehe. bloody hell =S
Next post will be from India.... so long for now peeps =)
Xxx

Ash left for Nepal on my birthday yesterday: This is her leaving photo =)

Dont think Nepal knows what they are allowing into their country- Bloody hippie =P

I've had a really lovely chilled out birthday this year...lots of nice drinking and dancing with friends, lovely gifts (all really practical thankfully so not too much clutter to pack away, horrah!) and good cheer.  Dad took me out for a birthday pub dinner on thursday evening and then tea and birthday brownie on my birthday morning with ash.  Ash was gone by about 2ish on her way to the train station, had a really lovely chilled out moment with her in our garden before she left and rolled her a cheeky rollie to take with her for that moment of panic that was due to occur somewhere along the journey to london.  Now she's gone, the house is REALLY quiet- Daz has been pretty absent recently so im really really glad Mills is going to be moving in this weekend...nice to have someone around and about =).  Ash will be fast snoozy asleep in her second night in Nepal- I wish I could ask her how its all going and hear the gossip, its so annoying not being able to be nosey! <3

Ive properly packed up my bag now.  Still got lots of space left even after adding 2 big boxes of crayons and a massive collection of coloured paper that I got in the kids scrapstore, thought it would be nice to have gifts or the Sadhana Forest kindergarten that they sponsor in the local village.  Im also going to try and buy a big collection of pens to give away too while im travelling, cos I remember a lot of the beggar children asking for pens...which I FAR prefer giving to money (most beggar kids are employed by adults to beg and dont actually get the money you give them in the first place).  I like having small gifts and also some food to give out instead.  Its funny seeing my pack in my room, especially as I have lots of Mill's stuff in my room and other stuff that needs to go into the attic still...doesnt feel that its actually about to happen yet.  But only 4 days left in the country and lots to do still!!!

For now, bye bye! <3

Its officially the 7th January, and with 30 mins to spare! Im now officially 23 years old, and in a few hours Ash will be off to Nepal.  MADNESS, the worlds gone mad! I can't seem to get past the point that I am now 23, let alone the fact that this time next week I will be well and truly on my way to India! Lots of change, lots of new experiences, and hopefully lots of adventures and fun to be had in the coming year =)
I was jumping around the house earlier, because I got woken up by Mr Postie with a passport and a SHINY NEW VISA in it! No more trips to london at 5am for me for a while thankgod... I never want to see that bloody visa office e.v.e.r. a.g.a.i.n!!!
I went to the scrapstore in St Werbs today and picked up a whole load of coloured card and crayons to take with me to Sadhana Forest for the local Kindergarten that they sponsor...thought it would be nice to bring them a treat from the UK.  I'd really love to get involved and do some work with the kids while Im at Sadhana...
Also my pops has been in Brizzle today, we had a wander around St Werbs and then into town for cider and pub grub... it was all very lovely, and now he's a'snoozin' in the livingroom.  We realised that he hasnt actually SEEN me on my birthday since I was about 5, hehe.  Will be nice to have a b'day breaky with him in the morning.  I got some money to help me out in India (seriously appreciated!), and a couple of awesome folky CDs (john mccusker and steel eye span) to add to the old Itunes.

So all is grand, all is birthday wishes full, and tomorrow will be filled with fond fairwells to Ash on her travels...and nice birthday grub and drinks and smiley faces.  Warm birthday girl glow to new beginnings and adventures and to the lovely people I know and have yet to meet =) Xx

I've been trying to restrain myself slightly from writing lots of silly posts filled with excitements at mundane pre-travel tasks like picking which mosquito net to buy and deciding how many pairs of pants to take.... and I've decided that, as its exactly 10 days until I leave (3rd Jan already!), and the organising of a trip is actually quite often the most exciting bit, I'd surrender to my need to chat shit a bit ;-) and hope that you'll forgive my weakness!
It's been a totally different experience organising this trip, to any of my other travels.  I think the main reasons being that, it was decided quite on a whim... less then 6weeks ago, and also that it's a totally different experience when you are organising and setting off on your own.  When I was deciding and planning my trips with Jen, it was months in the planning and earning...getting through 40-50 hr weeks by chatting and giggling about adventures we were about to have.  It's a great feeling bouncing off of each other and the excitement gets soooo massive by the time you are all packed up and ready to go!  This time though, its been a real calm and gentle ride, after the abrupt decision making and buying of tickets at the end of november (only a couple of days after I got fired from my horrible job-the deciding factor).  Money is pretty tight, especially as I was relying on a reasonable profit from the Clothes Show which wasnt nearlly as lucrative as it should have been.  But its possible, and though I will be pretty much fully overdrawn and penniless when I return Im hoping it will be worth it and hopefully I should come back with new skills and ideas and inspiration for a more holistic lifestyle.  A good shake up is most DEFINATELY needed <3!
I knew that as soon as Christmas came and I headed up north to see the family time would fly by and before I know it it would be time to go, but I dont think I am really able to take on just how quickly time creeps up.  Its now the 3rd of Jan, Solstice, Christmas and New Year have passes (with lots of beautiful people and beautiful smiles), and my birthday celebrations are on their way (gathering on the 5th, seeing dad on the 6th, my birthday and saying goodbye to ash on the 7th....and then 6days of final prep and im off on the 13th!),  I only have 3 days left with Ash and 3 1/2 months before I see her again...and only a couple of weeks left of Jen before I have to say goodbye to her too.  I'm feeling the pull of having no mum there to sort me out when Im being ridiculous....no friends to support me at a moments notice and keep me sane.... No lovely gentleman to keep my heart smiling and my brain preoccupied.  Mmm, at the moment it feels a little bit like exile, though a very exciting one i might add.  I think I just need to get on with it now and stop worrying about the travelling alone, cos Im sure I will be fine really...and its normal to be nervous when its something so big and new.
I spent a lovely new year with the beautiful Nutmeg and Miss Moon... squishy and cosy =) embrassing our yoghurt-weaver sides and sending our new year wishes to stars.  I asked for appreciation and contentment to come more easily for me, and decided to take heed of some amazing advice given to me by a lovely bluebell faerie: to live and be present within each moment that I live.

But all that squishyness aside: I've had a great laugh trying to sort out the horrible bureaucracy that is the India Visa offices of london.  They have in the last month changed the whole system so that all visas are now dealt with not by the embassy but through a affiliated private company, who i might add have succeeded in being actually less able and more frustratingly awful then the previous lot....an impressive task it must be said.  I sent off my finished postal application for an India visa in the post on the 10th Dec (the most confusing process known to man!) only to receive my passport back without a visa in it on the 30th Dec with a one sentance explanation that I had not put in the correct number of photos.  After searching the website and calling up the customer service line (cost 90p a minute and took 10 mins on hold to get through to a woman who could barely speak english) it becomes apparent that I am going to have to go to London the next day to the visa office and re-apply in person.  So on the train I am at 5:30am to get to their Victoria office before they open at 8:30 to beat the queue.  3 hour of queueing and bureaucracy later I am totally confused (turned out i didnt get my visa through in the first place because my photo was the wrong size- they dont accept PASSPORT photos oh no no no! They have to be an extra 1/2" wider ho ho ho!), thoroughly unconvinced I will in fact receive a visa or a passport back, and back on the train to Bristol...new years eve morning at its best =P   So the Visa situation is still very rocky, I dont trust at all the ability of the people I left my visa/passport in the hands off.. So fingers and toes crossed, as if this doesnt work I dont see how I will be going anywhere?!
Other then that, Its been the fun of deciding on a brand spanking new mosquito net (you'll be interested to know I settled on a LifeSystems Double BoxNet...at a steal in the xmas sales for £19 down from £35, oh yeh!)...and making lots of different piles of belongings- big piles to go up in the attic, and smaller piles to be put in a certain rucksack.  Ill finally be able to breath when(!) the visa comes through throughyl attached to passport, and I can finally start the journey and get cracking.  In the meantime Ill just have to be content with stealing peoples music to create the perfect travel IPOD collection and deciding on the perfect number of pants to take....  <3